Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Some things I've learned (and some others that I've been reminded of)...

As the school year draws to a close, I've been reflecting on what has been a great year of life and ministry at Emmanuel. Here are some of the highlights...

1. God's plans are better than mine

Leading a Youth Alpha session
We all make plans and have ideas about what should happen when, and how. I've been amazed at the pace in which Emmanuel Youth has grown this year. My experience told me to expect a slow start. Year one is usually about getting bedded in and getting a feel for your surroundings... right? 


Fancy dress at Soul Survivor
It seems God had a different plan, in particular for our 14-18's ministry, which quadrupled in size as a result of a fantastic team, some home visits and the Youth Alpha we ran in the Spring Term. I'm so glad God didn't go with my ideas...


2. God is active outside the walls of the church

Back in February I had a call from a family in our parish requesting a visit. This family were not involved in the church and did not have a Christian background. When I visited, I sat down with the mum and 10 year old daughter and they started to ask about baptism for the 10 year old. Naturally I was curious and asked why she might want to be baptised, to which the response was "I just want more of God in my life". After picking my jaw up off the floor, I continued the conversation, and invited her to our groups. She is now a regular attendee of our discipleship stream for 10-13's...

3. We all need to be challenged

I started a prayer triplet with two old mates in September, and we've managed to keep it going throughout the year. We set out to be "as iron sharpens iron" (Proverbs 27:17) in each others lives, and I've really valued the times of challenge, support and stretching. We all need a place where we can be open, accountable and questionned. Especially me.

One of my favourite quotes was from a recent get-together:
"We've made the gospel to be like a cheese sandwich, when it's a huge feast. I mean, who wants a cheese sandwich?"

4. It's a real blessing to have a supportive church

I can't tell you how supportive Emmanuel has been this year. The conversation I had with the then church warden sums up my experience, in a rather amusing way. We were busy testing out the setup for the upcoming Youth Alpha, and the conversation went like this:

Me: Yep, the new HD projector looks great, as do the new backdrops. I also like the new sofas and beanbags. Thanks for putting the new PA in place, it works well, but...

CW: But...

The Youth Alpha ball
Me: There's not really enough bass coming through is there?

CW: Hmm...

Me: Do we have a subwoofer in the church?

CW: I'll see what I can do

And lo and behold, the sub was purchased and in place the following week! What a guy!


5. Never leave your wet pants in the vestry...

A remake of the baptism moment, using sweets!
During a recent baptism service, the usual drill applied. After baptism, get changed as quick as you can, and back out there for the final song. Without being proud, I was impressed with the sheer speed and accuracy at which I completed the manouvre. That was, until the next day, when my boss came walking into the staff meeting with my wet pants in his hand.
It had turned out that the local primary school were visiting, and had subseqently got more than they bargained for out of the vestry...

Monday, June 6, 2011

Lessons about Sexuality from Genesis 2 and Skins Series 5

Lessons about Sexuality from Genesis 2 and Skins Series 5

A few weeks ago we took a broad look at sexuality with our 14+ young people. I found it really enjoyable to look at this again and I think I trust God that knows best even more than ever. Most of the session was drawn from Rob Bell's book, 'Sex God' and an episode of Skins that caught my attention last year. If you are working with young people I recommend both.

Initially we looked at what the bible says about sex. Sex is good and God invented it (Genesis 1:27), sex is supposed to be interesting (Proverbs 5:18-19), sex should be kept within marriage (Exodus 20:14) and correct use of our sexuality is very important to God and to society (Leviticus 20:10). We know that Jesus took it a stage further by saying that lust corrupts us just as much as the improper use of sex (Matthew 5:27-29).

Genesis tells us that God made Eve as a response to Adam's loneliness and that through their sexual encounter they become will become one (Genesis 2:24), and the chapter ends with the words 'and they were naked, and they felt no shame' (Genesis 2:25). So the Genesis account indicates that sex is more than just sex. There is a profound depth to our sexuality that involves belonging, oneness and vulnerability.

The Jewish marriage process placed sexuality right at the heart of marriage. Central to the whole marriage ceremony was a prayer shawl, which was called a chuppah. The couple would make their engagement vows under the chuppah, then later return to the chuppah to make their marriage vows. The chuppah would then head off to the honeymoon suite (my words), under which they would consummate their marriage.

During which the guests would wait, because to be frank, there would be no party until they have done the deed. So for the Old Testament Jew, sex is not an option to being married, it is essential. If there is no sex on the wedding day, no marriage, no party and no embarrassing uncle dancing to the YMCA. Can you imagine the pressure?

So the bible clearly sees sex and marriage as intrinsically linked. You don’t get one without the other. Sex is spiritual marriage (Exodus 22:16).

So where does the Skins episode fit? Series 5 episode 3 is all about 'Mini'. Mini, unlike most of her mates, is a virgin, and has been dating her boyfriend for a short time. He starts to pressure her for sex, stating that he has "waited weeks for this" and the episode follows their relationship as the story unfolds until she makes her decision. 

The key tension is the couples contrasting views of the sexual experience. Mini dreams of a romantic, loving, perfect moment kind of sex. For her boyfriend, sex is purely and simply about the physical encounter. In the end, Mini relents, has sex and immediately regrets it.



Neither of the characters get what they want out of the experience. Mini is left broken and disappointed and you get a sense that’s she’s lost something. She’s given herself away. And when sex is just sex, it never satisfies us. It always leaves us wanting. Sex is designed as an overflow to our nakedness, rather than a solution to it.

Most of the time we think we crave the physical encounter, but the root of that desire is a need for belonging, acceptance and oneness. What we really seeking is the connection that Adam and Eve had in Eden - both with God and each other.

And to give Mr Bell the final word he deserves:

"It’s easy to take your clothes off and have sex, but to open up your soul to someone in complete vulnerability? That’s tough. That’s hard. But that’s the place for the best sex to happen. That’s God’s best for you and me."

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

God at the party

We recently started a series on faith and culture with our 14+ young people at church. Over the next four weeks we'll be exploring what it means to be a Christian in a sexualised, a hedonistic and a media driven culture. This mini-series will be conversational and we'll be asking the young people for their input, as they know youth culture better than we do. Expect more on this but here are a few initial thoughts.


The 'Skins' Culture
In my experience the media tend to do a pretty good job of defining a culture, and then adding 20% to make it more interesting or controversial. One of the more recent media snapshots of youth culture is the Channel 4 tv show 'Skins'.

The show follows a group of sixth formers from their first day at college until their last day, when they step out into the big wide world. Each episode follows a different character and the writers use the characters to unpack and explore issues that young people face. I've watched them tackle mental illness, death, substance abuse, eating disorders and they’ve done loads of stuff on identity.

A personal favourite of mine was the J.J episode in Series 3 (Episode 7) where they tackled the issues that autistic children and their families face, especially when the young person is trying to navigate their way through mainstream education. Having worked a little with autistic young people, I found this deeply moving and very close to the mark.

The negative side is really obvious from the first moment of the show. This show is definitely not for kids, but it acts as a great social commentary to those interested in young people. The characters live a hedonistic, not a care in the world lifestyle.  No matter what the situation, their first instinct is to please themselves in whatever way they can. They drink when they want to, take drugs when they want to, they say what they want when they want, they sleep with whoever they want. As long as they are happy, in that moment, nothing else matters.

This type of culture is strongly influenced by a philosophy called ‘Existentialism’. Existentialism is a way of seeing the world as a series of independent moments and nothing matters other than the choice you want to make in that moment. In this philosophy,  life is just a series of moments that don’t relate to each other. There are no reasons. There is no purpose. In Existentialism, life is just random events, so enjoy the moment for what it is and take no responsibility for the future.

'Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. 
Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily 
recognise what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it.’ (Romans 12:2 / The Message)

Of course the Christian view of the world is at odds with the Existentialist view. In it's simplest form, the verse above, which is our baseline verse for this series, points out in no uncertain terms that God does have a plan for you, firstly to be transformed, but then to be a part of God's work in transforming the world around us.

God at the Party
You don’t have to look very far in the gospels to see that Jesus liked parties and I love the image of Jesus 'reclining at the table' in Matthew 26. John records that Jesus’ first miracle was to turn water into wine at a wedding (John 2). I'm also always reminded that Jesus was consistently drawn towards the most non-religious people of the day. The disciples were made up of a lot of very colourful characters. Matthew was a crook, Simon and Andrew were working class lads that lived by the sea. These were not exactly the quality you would expect of the divine. Yet these people were his best friends and closest followers. They were the one's that really grasped the kingdom and went on to shape the world.

The gospels also show us that Jesus spent significant amount of his time at parties and having meals with these kinds of people. He was able to go into these situations and hold his integrity. He didn’t lose his calling or get drawn into their way of behaving. He went for a meal with a crooked businessman, but he didn’t buy into the scam.  He stuck up for a woman that slept around, but he wasn’t tempted to be just another guy that takes advantage of her.

Jesus moved towards these people in love, and was able to hold on to his integrity. He went into these situations but they didn’t break him, he didn’t compromise, in fact he turned them round into opportunities for healing, teaching and forgiveness.

I think that God wants you and me, to do the same. Yes we should  be careful not to fall into traps that harm us. Yes we should be sure that we can hold our identity and integrity. Yes there will be times to flee from a situation, relationship or habit. But God sends us into the world, into our schools to hold our integrity, and bring about the same transformation Jesus did.

So I won't be telling my young people not to go to parties. Instead, I'll be telling them to take Jesus with them as their plus one. Or maybe, just maybe, he's already there.


Thursday, May 5, 2011

Reflections from our latest Youth Alpha...

The following is an article written for our church magazine

'Jesus is far too important a figure to be left only to the theologians and the church'
J. Pelikan

Nicky and I delivered our first Youth Alpha course in the summer of 1996 and this was the first time we had ever been given any teaching responsibility. We had a small group of 12 and 13 year old young people and from what I can remember, it went really well. Two of that group are now in full time ministry, one of which is in Africa managing a programme for orphans with HIV.

As we run our Youth Alpha programme at Emmanuel, I’ve been reflecting on how youth culture has changed since my first adventure into Youth Ministry. Back in 1996 young people did not have mobile phones, social networks did not exist and everything seemed much simpler. The young people even had some understanding of the Christian faith and precepts such as sin were all easily understood.

Jumping forward a few years, I was introduced to a philosophical concept called ‘Postmodernism’ when studying for my theological qualification. Lecturers told me that this new way of seeing the world was emerging and that it would challenge the way the church interacted with the world. I was taught that the concepts of absolute truth, sin and good and evil are very hard for Post-moderns to swallow.

Youth Alpha courses have come and gone over the years, but on each occasion the content has moved further away from the one that the class of 96 heard and responded to so faithfully. Over the years I’ve seen postmodern thinking emerge and be established in the way that young people see and understand the world.

The Youth Alpha course we are currently running at Emmanuel is the most Post-modern group of young people that I have taken through the Youth Alpha programme. They see the world differently that I do and as a result, we’ve had to think very carefully about how we present the gospel. How do we present the death of Jesus to a group that is not convinced they’ve done anything wrong? How do we teach Jesus as ‘the way and the truth’ (John 14:5) when they are convinced that truth is what they decide it to be?

One of the opportunities that Post-modernity presents is that while truth is out of fashion, stories are seen to be of real value. As a result, we’ve spent a lot of time in Genesis, talking about Eden and God’s ideal for us. We’ve told the big story of God from the tree in Eden to the tree at Calvary. And most importantly, we’ve told the stories of Jesus. We’ve told about how he connected with people, how he lived and what he taught. We’ve tried to present the whole life of Jesus and to give the young people the space to ask questions and respond. I’ve been reminded of how the Gospel transcends cultures and even though these young people are a world apart from my class of 96, the gospel remains as alive and provocative as ever.

There is no question that youth culture has changed dramatically in the 15 years I’ve been working with young people. This generation is not just different in appearance and lifestyle, but also in the way they think and see the world. If the church is seeking to remain relevant and accessible to the world around us, we may need to do the same.